Let's all stand up against bullying - Winnipeg Free Press

Let's all stand up against bullying - Winnipeg Free Press
Nobody likes bullies. They are despicable people with their "friends," who are usually weak people who have been manipulated into doing the bully's bidding and provide the cheerleading for his objectives. Timidity and apathy are a bully's real allies.
Depression may play a role in the bully's life. But it's often more complex with a smiling, in-control façade masking personality disorders where opposing points of view are seen as hostile attacks deserving of a quick and angry response.
A bully is so uncomfortable in his own skin that he tries to sell an over-inflated image of himself and satisfaction in life can only be measured in terms of his getting his way.
The bully wants to believe that people respect him. Deep down he knows better, but if people are intimidated that's just as good.
Bullying can take place anywhere -- the workplace, in communities, politics and sports -- and thwarting it requires a committed stand. Not so much by those that are being bullied as by those who are able to stand up and be counted and to say enough is enough.
Bullies destroy lives. Studies and their real-life examples prove it. Children that fall victim to bullies can spend their teenage years and decades beyond suffering in silence.
There's evidence galore to suggest that bullies have been the bullied. And it's no secret that a teenage bully can package up those bad qualities and reintroduce them in adulthood.
Clear then is the need to recognize, confront and conquer bullying whenever and wherever it surfaces -- in the home, on the playground, at the rink and in the classroom.
Sadly though, it would be naive to believe that all households or sports endeavours would see such behaviour through the same lens, much less as something in need of correction.
So, rightly or wrongly, the lion's share of responsibility has a tendency to fall on the shoulders of the education system.
It is, after all, that institution that's best suited to pony up the training and means needed to identify and curb it. School is the place where perpetrators and victims are mandated by law to be together.
And school is a place where life-changing attacks are guaranteed to be take place because ears are too big or too small, where someone is too tall or too short, where skin colour is "wrong," or the sneakers just aren't cool enough.
Faceless online attacks are the most cowardly but the consequences are no less devastating, in fact, often worse when they go viral.
Despite a plethora of fuzzy, feel-good programming and tough-as-nails, zero-tolerance school policies that provide the look of something being done, recent studies show otherwise. Research suggests that those already safe from bullies feel safer, but those that are likely to be targeted continue to be at greatest risk.
Teachers surveyed indicated that the majority of schools have bully-prevention programs but that less than half the staff received training needed to deal with bullying. Half of them said it was inadequate, with 75 per cent saying they needed more.
How far do we let this go? There are devastating examples that illustrate the impact of bullying on every corner. Many suicides that occur in our backyard and elsewhere are rooted in bullying. Here and internationally bullying has led to many highly publicized murders.
At one time it was written off as a rite of passage, at worst the slings and arrows of life. But now the trail of children killed and bullied to suicide is so extensive it's led to a new term -- bullycide, death due to bullying.
That's some kind of legacy for all of us. We can't continue to turn a blind eye and pretend that the education system is some kind of panacea. We can all chip in. We just need to stand up.